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DJ is the new wandering minstrel, wandering from party to party, waiting for his/her big chance to play a set.
PART #1: ETIQUETTE AT THE GIG
- You get the slot, all's good 'cos you have a mate thats organising the party, blah blah....
- So now you arrive at the party and make it look like you're helping. Bring your records over, while asking a few people to move out the way. You carry the decks, plug in the system and figure out why its not working...even if it was fine a minute ago. Maybe 'cos you don't know what you're doing.
- Always looking eager and ostentatiously dancing to your fellow DJ's, you cautiously keep an eye on the time. You ain't gonna miss YOUR slot....
- OK its time. Now casually but firmly mosey over to the decks and look over the controls, saying stuff like: "Just checking the mixer...which one's the headphones?" (meaning: "get off now"), "Wanna play two more tracks?" (meaning: "get off soon"), "Oops did i just turn your volume down?" (meaning: "DJ-bully in the house").
- Get your records out...wooh hooh....time to start deciding between Gloria Gaynor, WAR or Phats and Small. The DJ's art is in his choice, his flow and his collection. He must read the mood and follow it as best he can with his limited choice. Unless everyone's on pills, then just play all records at 45.
- Its hard work, no time to make a spliff, get a drink or even think. So when your times up, bow out graciously. None of this: "I'm the greatest DJ, they love me, keep me on, I'm great, listen to this one."
- You can now relax, wander the party, smoke and drink to your heart's delight. But it just ain't the same.....
HIERACHY:
- No. 1: The guy whose system it is
- No. 2: The Organiser, he owes the guy whose system it is.
- No. 3: All DJs are equal, grovelling scum awaiting their chance.
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